In his first miracle, he turned 120 gallons of water into wine. He was also seen walking on the water of the Sea of Galilee. With this kind of mastery over liquid, it was only a matter of time before Jesus got into the beverage business. While he was early to the miracle market, Jesus is hardly the first well-known name to back an energy drink. Kim Kardashian, Logan Paul, The Rock, Alex Cooper, Lionel Messi, and many others are already preaching to the masses to swallow their functional beverage pitch. But it wasn’t until some entrepreneurs decided that he had a branding problem that Jesus’ image was slapped onto the side of a can of Berry Blessed Yahweh energy drink. You get all the biblical associations with none of the calories! The Guardian: What would Jesus drink? Welcome to the age of Christian energy beverages. “Another mega-celeb has entered the beverage game. Or rather, beverage companies have enlisted him in an effort to spread the good word about their product. Jesus, it turns out, has a branding problem – at least according to the makers of these drinks. Too many people simply haven’t heard the message. ‘God put it on our hearts to specifically preach the gospel through an energy drink,’ the creator of Yahweh says in an Instagram video defending the company against accusations that it exists mainly to turn a profit.” But wait, Moses walked through a parted Red Sea and got water from a stone more than a thousand years before Jesus was even born. Shouldn’t he be the first to market drinks? Yes. In a twist that gives new meaning to holy spirits, Moses Vodka has been around for years (although there’s some debate about whether or not it’s actually kosher to drink it). You gotta hand it to Moses for prophesying that, in the year of our Lord 2026, we’d need something stronger than water or wine. 2Let’s Fake a DealIran says it won’t resume peace talks until there’s a real ceasefire between Israel and Hezbollah. But Hezbollah (an Iran proxy) in Lebanon won’t stop firing rockets and drones into northern Israel and is refusing to sign onto a ceasefire agreement. BBC: Hezbollah rejects renewed ceasefire agreed by Israel and Lebanon. Even during the best of times, dealmaking in the region is difficult. And now Trump has another challenge. House Votes to Rein In Trump on Iran War. “The House on Wednesday voted to direct President Trump to withdraw U.S. forces from the conflict with Iran or win approval from Congress to continue the war, after four Republicans sided with Democrats in a striking sign of growing opposition to a military campaign now in its fourth month.” 3Addicted to BSEven though they are definitely not addictive gambling platforms, industry players like Kalshi and Polymarket are hiring some political lobbyists from other addiction industries. “A trade group backed by some of the largest players in the prediction market industry, including Kalshi, Coinbase, Crypto dot com, Robinhood, and Underdog—has recruited a bipartisan dynamic duo of influential former congressmen to be the faces of the industry. In addition to the political firepower, CPM added an influential former gambling industry advocate and a former vaping executive to help manage the organization’s direction.” TNR: Prediction Markets Are Learning From the Addiction Industry. But they definitely don’t see themselves as, you know, part of the addiction industry. It’s like the old saying goes: I used to be addicted, but now I’m just a dick. 4Laughing Matter“Trust in science has plummeted. Can improv turn the tide? Scimemi is one of more than 35,000 scientists and researchers who have taken classes led by professional actors to help them earn their audiences’ trust and understanding. It’s the brainchild of Alan Alda, who helped start what is now called the Alan Alda Center for Communicating Science at Long Island’s Stony Brook University more than 15 years ago.” WSJ (Gift Article): Alan Alda’s Solution to Eroding Trust in Science: More Improv. 5Extra, ExtraSlash and Learn: “After Elon Musk ‘spent the weekend feeding USAID into the wood chipper,’ as he put it last year, he and President Trump scoffed that American humanitarian aid was, in effect, woke nonsense. Yet in reality American humanitarian aid not only saved one life every 10 seconds but was also safeguarding the world from epidemics. So now we face a rapidly increasing outbreak of Ebola, and the Trump administration is finding that some of the things that went into the wood chipper were the very tools needed to tackle the virus.” NYT (Gift Article): This Is Why You Don’t Slash Humanitarian Aid. (As a punishment, Elon is about to become the richest person in history. That’ll teach him.) 6Bottom of the News“The getaway car was parked just outside the Marina yoga studio, idling in the January night air as the burglar made his move. In under three minutes, the burglar was in and out of Hot 8 Yoga with an armload of activewear. He stuffed the loot in the car’s trunk, hopped inside and disappeared down the street, comfortably carried away by an autonomous Waymo vehicle.” We’re always on the cutting edge in SF! How a burglar used a robotaxi to flee the scene.
|
No comments:
Post a Comment