They lied to you. They cheated you. They hurt you. They hurt someone. They hurt someone you love. Of course you’re hurt. Of course you’re angry. And of course it’s consuming your attention.
You are in dangerous territory.
Beware.
In fact, we all need to beware. Because, as the Stoics say, this is where trouble comes from—from the passions. In Euripides’ Medea (grab a copy from The Painted Porch here) he has Medea on the verge of filicide, surprisingly aware of the temporary insanity her anger has created. “I am well aware how terrible a crime I am about to commit,” she says, “but my passion is master of my reason, passion that causes the greatest suffering in the world.”
To the Stoics, passions were diametrically opposed to reason—the two were battling for supremacy in each of us. When passion wins, we are in trouble. We say things we regret. We jump into things we shouldn’t. We make complicated things worse. We do things that can’t be undone. It causes suffering for us and for others.
This is why Athenodorus famously told the Emperor Augustus to count the letters of the alphabet before he did anything out of anger—he was telling him to pausa et reflecte, as our challenge coin says. Pause and reflect. Think about it. Let reason be your master, not the passion of the moment. Don’t hurt others or yourself. Don’t jump in just yet. Think about how you’ll think about this after. Spare yourself and others much suffering.
Pausa et reflecte. Let your passions pass.
P.S. Seneca said, “whoever comes to a mirror to change himself has already changed.” Recognizing your anger in the moment, feeling it rising before it takes over, means you’ve already started mastering it.
The next step is the pause. The crucial gap between what you feel and what you do.
Our Daily Stoic Pause and Reflect Medallion is built for exactly that moment. When you feel your passion beginning to master your reason, reach for it. Hold it. Recite the letters of the alphabet as Athenodorus encouraged Augustus to do.
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