What happens to the deal it made with Disney? An Open Letter From Mickey Mouse

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	Forwarded this email? Subscribe here for more Open AI Killed It's Video Platform. Oh, Boy! What happens to the deal it made with Disney? An Open Letter From Mickey Mouse Joel Stein Mar 30   READ IN APP   Dear Mr. Iger, The End of My Career is a reader-supported publication. One that thinks subscriber Dan Tabak is a great man. Upgrade to paid Gee willikers, this got Mr. Toad wild, huh? Ha-ha. Seems like just yesterday, you were suing the whoopsie-daisy out of anyone who so much as drew me in the corner of their Guadalajara candy shop. Then, all of a sudden, you put one billion smackers into OpenAI and let folks make AI video thingamajigs of me on Sora that you hope to air on Disney+? That didn’t sound like a “plus” to me. Ha-ha! Now OpenAI says it’s time to say goodbye to Sora, and you want your billion smackers back. Hoo-boy! I’m not gonna say I told you. Like I didn’t say it when you didn’t listen to me about entertaining the children by shuffling to classical music in a sorcerer’s hat? Or when you told me to get serenaded by Minnie in a rap parody called “Ice Ice Mickey” on the Mickey Unrapped album? No, sirree! Or when Cheech Marin kicked me in the whoopsie-daisy during a musical number in my 60th birthday celebration on NBC, after sitting at the Cheers bar where they serve alcohol? Hot dog! It turns out folks on this Sora thing were having me do some stuff that, gee whiz, I didn’t like fancy one bit. I know you said folks can’t have me drinking, using drugs, or having sex – penovaginal or whoopsie-daisyal. But, jumpin’ Jehoshaphat, it turns out that leaves a whole heap of supposedly fun things that I never, ever want to do again. For a few seconds, I had six fingers on each hand, which is two too many. Ha-ha! Also, even though he’s a swell guy, I don’t know why I had to take 1,000 selfies with Sam Altman. A few weeks ago, Minnie thought she was coming in for a regular ol’ “get ready with me” video, but they took the beauty products and tested them by rubbin’ em right on her little-ol’ eyeball. That sure smarted! I don’t remember shaking hands with Cousin Greg at any board meetings, but, aw shucks, he told me some silly stuff about the cruise division that, oh boy oh boy oh BOY, makes me want to never set a paw in the Bahamas again. While I appreciated the sentiment of this one, golly jee, it made some of those nice Christian folks in Orlando upset: When I was told I was going on a super-secret mission way down underneath the Pirates of the Caribbean ride to bring Walt back, gee whiz, was I excited! But the way these Sora users had me thaw the ice was not something Walt would have liked one bit, no sirree! This wasn’t a fun day for either of us, Mr. Bob: And this was only fun for one of us. Ha-ha! This seemed fine until I got home and found it wasn’t really Minnie! And I owed Goofy 250 Disney Dollars. Which I didn’t have, since they’d all gone to Sam Altman. Mr Bob, you know I love to laugh. Ha-ha! But this was too much for even little-ol me! I don’t even know what this was. But Michael Pollan kept telling me I was going to be A-OK. And he was wrong. I wasn’t there, but I’ll never be able to unsee the one where Pluto has Goofy on a leash. I believe Disney’s legal team knows how I feel about that kind of woke bullshit. And it’s not just about me, Mr. Iger. Do you know what Sora is willing to make? Song of the South II. I’m glad this is all over, sir. Whew. I’m sure undoing this OpenAI deal was as easy as un-retiring. Ha-ha! I’ll send my therapy bills over through the ol’ Animated Resources Department. Your loyal cast member, Mickey The End of My Career is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. Upgrade to paid Thank you for paying to read my column. Wait: This is for the people who didn’t pay? Then I owe you nothing. You are the ones contributing to the end of my career. If you want to pay an exorbitant amount of money to get one extra post a month – which often won’t even be that good – upgrade to a paid subscription here: Upgrade to paid   Like Comment Restack   © 2026 Joel Stein Unsubscribe