My friend Damon Lindelof, creator of shows such as Lost, The Leftovers, and Watchmen, told me that a comment he made on a podcast about Severance was directed at me. Talking about Christopher Walken’s character’s oenophilia, Damon said:
I can see where Damon is coming from. Knowing about wine is not likable. It’s annoying, it’s elitist, and it’s intimidating. Knowing about beer, on the other hand, is only annoying. It seems like a way to act superior about something purely classist, the way you once showed off your boarding school education by quoting things in Latin or saying that you once had oral sex with another boy. His deep distrust of the wine world is why Jeremy Irons plays a guy who destroys New York City in Watchmen and lives like this:
And why a plot line in Lost is about how the island is a cork preventing “the darkness” in the wine bottle from spreading.
And why there’s a scene in The Leftovers where all these people are drinking water with dinner. Even that baby is wondering why no one is touching the one wine glass:
And it’s why this is the only bottle I know for certain that Damon owns:
I asked Damon, who both drinks wine and knows an extraordinary amount of detail about everything, what his issue is about learning something from a sommelier. He told me that sommeliers are evil because their job is to trick customers into spending a lot of money. This seemed silly to me. Everyone’s job in a capitalist society is to trick customers into spending a lot of money. At least with sommeliers, you can give them a budget and they’ll abide by it, unlike real estate agents, car salespeople, or television showrunners. So I asked Matthew Brodbine, the sommelier who is beverage director at the Santa Monica restaurants Seline and Pasjoli, to rebut Damon’s accusations.
David Gibbs, the owner of Augustine, the best wine bar in the country, is also great at hospitality. Though less so when he’s not at the restaurant and texting me from home. And when he’s defending his people. When I asked for a response to Damon’s quote about sommeliers being evil, Dave said:
He also called him a dink. But I understand his dinkishness. When Damon tells me details about comic books that I can barely follow, I don’t feel insecure about my social status. Wine, however, can do that. Which is weird, since it’s an alcoholic beverage. It’s not philosophy. It’s not art. Sure, it can be an expensive hobby, like watches, cars, or fashion. Or comic books. But wine is evil only in the way that capitalism is evil. You don’t have to buy into showing off. Besides, no sommelier is impressed when you order the expensive bottle. What they want is what everyone wants. What Damon wants. They want you to let them talk at length about the minutiae they know. You're currently a free subscriber to The Corrupt Wine Writer. For the full experience, upgrade your subscription.
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Monday, March 31, 2025
"Wine Aficionados Are Evil"
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