Read Time: 4 minutes. |
The "my job / not my job" lens feels like self-protection. It's actually a ceiling. |
Every time you draw the line tighter, you wall off an experience you needed. Every time you say "that's not my role," you hand the opportunity to someone who will take it. |
If you always say no, you're not focused. You're unhelpful. If you always want to be paid for doing a little more, you're thought of a little less. If you're a salaried employee but act like you're paid to work 9-5, don't expect that salary to change.
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Here's what nobody tells you: most of the rewards you're chasing are given after the fact, not negotiated before it. The promotion comes after you've been doing the job. The raise comes after you've proven the value. The opportunity comes after you've shown you'll grab it without being asked. |
The people winning at your level aren't better than you.
They're just blurring the lines on purpose. |
Defenders vs. Definers |
Every team has both. |
The Defender holds the line. Treats the job description as a contract. Frames every ask outside the original scope as exploitation. Complains. Counts. Withholds. Calls it self-protection. |
The Definer moves the line outward, on purpose. Looks for problems that need solving and grabs them when they create leverage. Builds career capital by becoming the person who solves the problem nobody asked them to solve. |
The defender feels righteous. The definer gets promoted. |
Why Defenders Lose |
Adam Grant studied success patterns across professions in Give and Take and found three types of people. |
Takers try to get more than they give. Every interaction is a transaction they try to win |
Matchers keep score. Trade favor for favor. The default mode for about half the population. |
Givers help without keeping score. Mentor, step in, solve the problem before being asked. |
The surprise: givers dominate both the top and bottom of the success ladder. |
Bottom givers burn out. They can't say no. They get exploited and stall. |
Top givers are strategic. They give where their expertise creates leverage. They focus their giving on other givers and matchers. They avoid takers and say no when the ask is parasitic. Their strategic giving helps them become indispensable. |
Here's the mechanism that matters: matchers (half the population) reward strategic givers with promotions and sponsorship, and punish takers by withdrawing cooperation. Once a taker is identified, the network closes around them. |
The "not my job" defender will be seen as a taker. Every ask gets renegotiated. Every favor gets tallied. Soon, everyone will want them replaced with a giver Or at least a matcher. |
Defenders slowly lose. Definers quickly win. |
How to Blur Boundaries Strategically |
This isn't about saying yes to everything. It's about being intentional about where you blur the line and why. |
Three questions to answer before your next performance review: |
Where am I taking my career? Not this year. Three to five years. What's the role? What does that leader do that you don't do yet? |
What experiences does that require? Name them specifically. Managing a P&L. Leading a cross-functional project. Presenting to the board. Running a team through a crisis. |
Where can I blur the line to get those experiences sooner? Look at your current role. Where are the adjacent problems nobody is owning? Where is your manager stretched thin? Where does the team need something you could provide? |
That intersection is your move. Not because someone asked you to make it. Because you decided drive your own leadership development. |
Be a Strategic Giver |
Blurring boundaries effectively isn't about working more hours. It's about giving where it compounds. |
Give where your expertise creates disproportionate value. The problem that takes you two hours takes someone else two weeks. That asymmetry is leverage. Give visibility to others when you step in. The definer who grabs the problem and shares the credit builds allies. That recognition is capital. Give in the direction of your goals. Every stretch should connect to the experience you identified. Random generosity is exhausting. Strategic generosity compounds.
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The strategic giver isn't the person who does the most work. They're the person whose work creates the most return on their effort. For others. And for themselves. |
Say No With Finesse |
Blurring your boundaries strategically doesn't mean letting everyone else blur them for you. |
There's a difference between choosing to stretch and being exploited. The defender can't tell the difference, so they say no to everything. The definer can, so they say no intentionally. |
Six ways to say no without burning the relationship: |
Direct: No. Defer: Not now. Deflect: Instead of what? Defend: Outside our core focus. Diminish: Would this smaller step work? Delegate: Perhaps someone else has capacity.
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The goal isn't to protect your time. It's to protect your ability to do the work that actually moves your career. |
The Close |
Half the time someone tells me they're "just protecting their boundaries," they're unknowingly building their ceiling. |
The people who solve the problem don't ask if it's their problem. They ask if solving it gets them closer to where they're going. |
That's the only boundary question that matters. |
Lead on,
Dave & Mar |
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