This is Part 2 in our 4-part Meditations Month series on Marcus Aurelius’ rules for living a better life. (You can read Part 1 here if you missed it.) Today, we explore Marcus’s best rules for how to treat other people, as well as his reminders about anxiety and worry.
Be strict with yourself and understanding of others.
Stoicism, at its core, is meant to guide your own actions, not to impose your standards on everyone else. Expecting others to live by your rules is not fair—they didn’t agree to this, and it often doesn’t work out well. Marcus Aurelius’s most insightful biographer, Ernest Renan, noted that while strict personal philosophy could lead to rigidity and harshness, Marcus managed to avoid this.
Put people first.
There’s a great story about Marcus Aurelius’s actions during a terrible plague that hit ancient Rome. The empire was in a bad state, with many people dying and the rest feeling hopeless in the chaos. So what did Marcus do? He started selling his own fancy stuff from the palace—like jewels and ornate furniture. For two months, he held sales to fund relief efforts without raising taxes, thus lifting that burden from his people. He was showing everyone that he wasn’t going to look after just himself. He didn’t need all those expensive things, not when so many people were suffering. Like the boss who cuts their own pay when times are tough or the sports star who changes their contract to help their team get better players, leaders who are truly great give up their own comfort to help others—to contribute to the greater good.
Don’t suffer imagined troubles.
“Don’t let your imagination be crushed by life as a whole,” Marcus reminded himself. “Stick with the situation at hand.” Focus on the moment. Waste no time thinking about the monsters that may or may not be up ahead.
Let go of anxiety.
“Today I escaped from anxiety,” Marcus says. “Or no, I discarded it, because it was within me, in my own perceptions—not outside.” (He wrote this during a plague, no less.) Often, we blame our stress and unease on external pressures like work demands, deadlines, or our busy schedules. But when those external factors are reduced, we come to a realization: the constant factor is ourselves. The source of our anxiety lies within. And it’s within our power to let it go.
Don’t waste time worrying about other people’s opinions.
Marcus talked about a strange paradox: “It never ceases to amaze me,” he wrote, “we all love ourselves more than other people, but care more about their opinion than our own.” Stoicism teaches us to focus only on what we can control. What others think of us isn’t something we can control. So, it’s not worth worrying about what others think.
This month only, you can read Meditations alongside Ryan Holiday when you purchase the digital guide, which gives you access to discussions on the private platform—and his LIVE Q&A call later this month.
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