Wednesday, March 25, 2026

☕ Public freakout

United reveals new 'Relax Row' seats...

Well met, or mae govannen, as the Elves would say. Today, March 25, is Tolkien Reading Day, chosen for the day that the One Ring was destroyed in the fires of Mount Doom.

Let the anniversary of the ring's destruction inspire you to let go of anything weighing you down, or consuming your thoughts, or giving you unnaturally long life at the expense of your sanity, or gradually eroding your identity until you're but a wraith condemned to roam the Unseen world.

—Sam Klebanov, Matty Merritt, Dave Lozo, Adam Epstein

MARKETS

Nasdaq

21,761.90

S&P

6,556.37

Dow

46,124.06

10-Year

4.392%

Bitcoin

$69,421.28

Salesforce

$183.02

Data is provided by

*Stock data as of market close, cryptocurrency data as of 4:00pm ET. Here's what these numbers mean.

  • Markets: Stocks slipped yesterday as the market parsed the latest developments from the Iran war. Meanwhile, Salesforce investors forcefully sold the company's stock amid ongoing worries that AI could upend software companies.
 

JUNK SQUAD

Illustration of two hands pulling at a $100 bill, ripping it apart

Morning Brew Design

Jittery private credit investors are rushing for the exits just like your coworkers when you start microwaving leftover salmon for lunch. This week, investment giants Apollo Global Management and Ares said they are limiting payouts to shareholders in their private credit funds as investors' requests to pull their cash soar across the industry.

Meanwhile, Moody's downgraded the credit rating of a private credit fund run by KKR and Future Standard yesterday, sending its debt into "junk" territory after more of its borrowers stopped paying their loans.

The news adds to Wall Street's anxiety about the health of a $1.8 trillion industry that's suffered from significant defaults and faces fears that it'll get pummelled if AI disrupts software companies—which JPMorgan estimates account for 30% of its loans.

Rationing cash

Private credit funds, which plug investors' money into risky loans to midsized companies, typically guarantee that they'll offer to pay out 5-7% of the value of the investments quarterly.

But last quarter, cash supply couldn't keep up with withdrawal demand:

  • Investors in Apollo's and Ares's private credit funds asked to exchange over 11% of their shares for cash.
  • Both companies said they'll pay out less than half of what investors asked for to ensure total payouts don't exceed 5% of the fund's value.

Meanwhile, private credit peers like Blackstone and Blue Owl Capital have sought to calm investors by letting them pull more cash than the guaranteed minimum.

Banks try to see the upside

After post-2008 financial crisis regulations restricted banks' ability to lend to risky borrowers, private credit swooped in to occupy that niche. Now, banking giants like JPMorgan—whose CEO, Jamie Dimon, is a longtime skeptic of the opaque industry—are letting clients bet against private credit.

But it's no gloatfest…as many private credit lenders are also bank borrowers, which means the likes of JPMorgan could get caught in the turmoil.—SK

WORLD

82nd Airborne Division

Kevin Carter/Getty Images

🪖 Report: Pentagon deploying 3,000 troops to Middle East. According to the Wall Street Journal, the Defense Department plans to deploy 3,000 soldiers from the US Army's 82nd Airborne Division to support the operation against Iran. A decision to put boots on the ground in Iran hasn't been made, the WSJ reported, but deploying the 82nd to the region reportedly gives President Trump several strategic options. Meanwhile, Pakistan offered to mediate talks between the US and Iran, though the New York Times reported that Saudi Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman is pushing Trump to continue the war.

Senate nears deal to fund the DHS, end TSA delays. The Senate and White House are close to a deal to fund the Department of Homeland Security (DHS) that could improve the airport delays due to TSA staffing shortages, CNBC reported, citing a Trump administration official. The deal would fund all of the DHS except the Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) budget, which Democrats have refused to bankroll until reforms are made in the wake of the killings of two US citizens by immigration enforcement officers in Minneapolis. If the deal is approved, Republicans would then seek to fund ICE through a separate process that would not need Democratic support. The DHS has been shut down since February, leading to hourslong security lines at several major airports across the US.

Fortnite maker Epic Games lays off 1,000 employees. The video game that's dominated pop culture for the better part of a decade and inspired the dance moves of all the 10-year-olds in your life might finally be slowing down. Epic Games announced yesterday that it's laying off 1,000 workers amid a decline in engagement that started last year. "We're spending significantly more than we're making, and we have to make major cuts to keep the company funded," CEO Tim Sweeney wrote in a note to employees. Epic was valued at more than $30 billion as of 2024.—AE

SKY CAVIAR

Photo of the interior of the United Airlines 787 Dreamliner, showing premium business class lie-flat beds.

NurPhoto / Getty Images

It's a huge day for anyone who is consistently able to stretch their legs out all the way on a flight. United Airlines announced several upgrades to its upcoming fleet of 250 new airplanes, offering more legroom, seats that lie flat, and souped-up amenities…for those willing to upgrade.

Over the next two years, United will add a number of flights that cater more heavily toward premium customers:

  • Most new Boeing 787-9 Dreamliners will include more premium seats than older airplanes, as well as the previously announced "Polaris Studio"—a private hub that has ottomans for guests visiting your sky-high oasis. These sections also include wine pairings and caviar with meals.
  • The "Coastliner" will also provide lie-flat seats for the first time on transcontinental flights.
  • Next year, you'll be able to book a Relax Row, transforming three economy seats into a giant bed.

It wasn't all good news: United CEO Scott Kirby warned that ticket prices might have to increase by 20% if jet fuel costs stay up near cruising altitude as a result of the Iran conflict.

Big picture: The second-most profitable US carrier joins other airlines in bolstering its premium offerings, hoping to squeeze out more money per seat. United said that premium revenue jumped 11% last year, while basic economy revenue fell 5%.—MM

Together With Immersed

MATTER OF TIME

An illustration of a box containing antiprotons

Niv Bavarsky

The scientists best known for smashing particles together achieved success yesterday by doing the exact opposite. Researchers at the European Organization for Nuclear Research (CERN) successfully transported antimatter on a truck with a specially designed tank that kept the antimatter from touching matter, which would have caused both to be annihilated.

The Geneva-based CERN houses the Large Hadron Collider, which slams particles together to create antimatter for study. Antimatter measurements, however, require delicate precision that's better done at Heinrich Heine University (HHU) in Düsseldorf. Yesterday's 30-minute spin around CERN's campus is a first step toward getting the antimatter to Germany in what would be an eight-hour drive.

Did these people risk blowing up Geneva? Despite what Dan Brown would have you believe, no. The 92 antiprotons on the truck were so small that no damage would have been caused if they collided with matter.

What's to be learned? The big bang theory (stop saying "bazinga") posits that the explosion that brought the universe into being created equal parts matter and antimatter. Studying antimatter could provide an explanation as to why the universe is dominated by matter.

HHU won't be ready to accept the antimatter delivery until 2029 at the earliest. When you consider the universe is billions of years old, waiting three years doesn't seem all that long.—DL

STAT

Photo of the cast of Jersey Shore Family Vacation making a goofy pose at their New York Premiere.

Theo Wargo/Getty Images

Based on the flood of think pieces about how horrible Chris from Love Is Blind is, you might think reality television was in its heyday. But you'd be wrong. (He was just that horrible.) According to data from Luminate cited by the New York Times:

  • The number of unscripted US series premieres plunged by 15% last year, and by a third since 2022.
  • No genre is genre—cooking, crime, home design, travel shows (and more) are each dwindling.

Compared with scripted shows, reality TV was supposed to be relatively insulated from the end of "Peak TV" because it's cheaper to make. But the harsh economics of television have now come for it, too. Media consolidation and relentless ratings declines have made network execs rethink how many shows about families hating each other they greenlight.—AE

Together With T-Mobile

NEWS

  • Meta violated New Mexico state law and must pay $375 million in damages for failing to protect users from child predators, a jury found yesterday.
  • Apple confirmed that its Maps app will begin showing ads this summer.
  • Sen. Elizabeth Warren sent a 12-page letter to MrBeast, requesting details about his plans to expand into financial services.
  • Nintendo reportedly cut production of its Switch 2 due to weakening demand for the gaming console.
  • Zoox, Amazon's self-driving car unit, is planning to expand its robotaxi service to Miami and Austin this year, the company announced yesterday.
  • Spotify announced the rollout of a new feature called SongDNA that allows users to learn more about a song and track its connections to other artists.
  • NASA canceled plans to put a space station in lunar orbit and will instead build a $20 billion base on the moon, the agency's chief, Jared Isaacman, said.
  • OpenAI is shutting down Sora, its TikTok-style AI video app, just months after it launched, as the company refocuses around business and coding.

RECS

To-Do List

Set: Placemats for the perfect dinner party.**

Travel: 100 global hotspots made famous by TV and film.

Measure: A ranking of the countries with the tallest people.

Munch: A huge database of almost every snack in the world (with reviews).

The gold standard: Market shaky? Metals don't blow in the wind. Gold IRAs offer precious-metals exposure with traditional IRA tax perks. Grab the free info kit from American Hartford Gold and learn how to set one up.*

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PLAY

Word Search: Channel your inner Lin-Manuel Miranda (or Cat in the Hat), and try today's puzzle, which has the theme "Rhyming Phrases." Play the Word Search here.

Tolkien trivia

In honor of Tolkien Reading Day, can you name the nine members of the Fellowship of the Ring?

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ANSWER

Frodo, Merry, Pippin, Sam, Aragorn, Gandalf, Legolas, Gimli, and Boromir

Word of the Day

Today's Word of the Day is: heyday, meaning "the period of a person or thing's greatest success or popularity." Thanks to Rob from Rancho Palos Verdes, CA, for the suggestion. Submit another Word of the Day here.

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