| "Five minutes each week that might change your life." | 77 people had a breakthrough last week. Read this newsletter on MarkManson.net. | | | ONE THING FOR YOU TO THINK ABOUT Actions are your values made real. You can talk and talk, but at the end of the day, your actions never lie. | Reflect: Then consider sharing this thought with others. | | | TWO THINGS FOR YOU TO ASK YOURSELF Is there something you tell yourself you value but your actions don't follow?
Is there something you tell others you value but your actions don't follow? | Recommended: Use these as journaling prompts for the week. | | | ONE THING FOR YOU TO TRY THIS WEEK Pick one thing you say you value, and make a decision this week that proves it. Maybe that's not leaving a project until the last minute, coming home in time for dinner, prioritizing a friend in need. Whatever it is, go do it. Then let me know what changes when your actions match what you say matters. | Remember: Small changes lead to lasting breakthroughs. Reply to this email and let me know how it went. | | | Eating well made simple Sponsored by Factor If you've ever told yourself, "I'll eat healthier once life calms down," let me tell you now: it won't. Most people aren't failing at healthy eating because they're lazy. They're failing because they don't have an extra three hours every day to shop, cook, and clean. Factor fixes that. There's no meal prep, no recipes, no decisions. Factor meals are chef-made, dietitian-designed, and delivered fresh to your door. Heat them for two minutes and you get to eat good food. Lean proteins, colorful vegetables, whole-food ingredients, healthy fats—without refined sugars, artificial sweeteners, or sketchy seed oils. The kind of meals you'd make if you had the time. Between work, travel, and not knowing how to cook, Factor makes eating well something I don't have to think about. Click my link below (and use code solved202650off) to get 50% off your first Factor box PLUS free breakfast for one year. Eat healthy with Factor | |
LAST WEEK'S BREAKTHROUGHS In last week's newsletter, I asked you to stop trying to change yourself, and instead change the situation you're in. This is what Sherry has been "working on all year": "Initially it felt very very foreign and (judgment city!) very very wrong. But as I learned radical acceptance of things that I can't force to change, my attention went to what I do have control over. Removing myself from triggering situations until I was regulated meant that my reactions were much better in moving us in a direction that I preferred (from a big picture standpoint). Or saying to myself, this person just isn't going to change, no amount of 'why can't they…' or 'I just wish…' is going to make this person do, think, be the way I want them to. And when I accept people for who they are, where they are and what they think, it magically becomes easier to connect, communicate and collaborate. Another example is when my kids trigger me because they are in a situation that I don't want them to be in. Gee, I wish that they had the wherewithal to see that and prevent it, right? But if I just go: hm... we are in a situation right now. Let's figure it out. What a big difference in what we can actually get done. We might not be able to fix the problem the way I would have ideally wanted, but boy, do we end up learning a lot together and making the long term better. This works both for work as well as parenting, not to mention with spouses. But it's definitely a long game, it's not an overnight thing." Another reader sought out a better situation for themselves: "As a member of AA, I witnessed trauma inflicted on other members—which inevitably resulted in trauma to me—in our meetings. So I informed my sponsor that I was leaving, and easily found better ones instead. At first she was horrified, but waited to see how I fared in other meetings. Best decision of my life! There are so many great meetings out there, along with some disturbing ones. AA now deals with not only alcoholism, but drug use as well, and while AA welcomes anyone concerned about their drinking, the mental disorders resulting from drugs and alcohol are far worse than two decades ago. I learned to take care of myself above loyalty to any meeting or even my sponsor, thanks to your newsletter! Already I am lighter, free of resentment, and enthused, more than ever, to pursue my own sobriety. As I keep in touch with my sponsor, she is amazed and heartened at the joy and appreciation I've found with my reset. I am amazed as well! Thanks, Mark, for giving me courage to take charge. You've truly made a difference in my life." Finally, Ian from our community refused to put himself in a situation that would undermine his values: "I was asked today to go to a lunch meeting with someone. I realized I didn't want to go, spend the money, or talk bullshit with this person. We aren't dating and aren't friends. And when I asked for the goal of the meeting, she said nothing other than to maintain the relationship… At that, I declined and told her I have a policy to meet with people for a welcome meeting and after that follow-up meetings if they serve a clear purpose, but I don't have the time otherwise. She understood and canceled. It was uncomfortable as hell but I am glad I said no, I didn't want to sit through an awkward pointless lunch and spend money for chitchat. I have other things I am working on now and am trying to complete things, not add them to my list. Felt freeing even if uncomfortable." This month, in our Solved Membership community, members like Ian are learning to enforce boundaries so they can live out their values. If you would also like your action to follow your talk with the support of daily action prompts and a like-minded community, click here to learn more. As always, send your breakthroughs by simply replying to this email. Let me know if you'd prefer to remain anonymous. Until next week, Mark Manson #1 New York Times Bestselling Author
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| FOLLOW FOR MORE Want to share this newsletter via text, social, or email? Simply copy and paste the following link: https://markmanson.net/breakthrough/178-actions-say If you were forwarded this message, sign up to receive it each week here. It's free. I never spam. About this newsletter: You are receiving this email because you signed up to my free newsletter. Each week, I send you a few powerful ideas, a few questions to ask yourself, and a few things to try in your life. If you no longer wish to receive this newsletter and all other updates from me, you can unsubscribe here. Disclaimer: By sending your breakthrough you are giving us your explicit consent to process the data and share it with our newsletter subscribers, MarkManson.net website visitors and on social media, including any sensitive data such as information regarding mental health, racial or ethnic origin, political opinions, religious or philosophical beliefs, sex life or sexual orientation. You may opt out and/or request deletion of the data at any time. You acknowledge that once we have shared your breakthrough with the other email subscribers we can no longer delete the data from their mailboxes. Infinity Squared Media LLC, 2525 Ocean Park Blvd, Suite 200, Santa Monica, CA 90405 | |
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