Hey there,
Welcome to Day 5 of the 5-Day Values Mini-Course.
We've been following along with the Values, Solved Podcast all week.
So far, we've covered:
- What values are (and are not)
- The two forms of happiness (and why they both matter)
- How to find what your values are
- What makes a value good or bad for you
And today, we're getting into how values can—and do—change.
Most people think their values are fixed. You either care about something or you don't. You were raised that way or you weren't. But here's the truth: Your values are flexible.
And they're always shifting—whether you're conscious of it or not.
Sometimes values evolve gradually. Other times, something cracks them wide open.
Let's break down how that happens—and how you can change a value on purpose.
TODAY'S MINI-LESSON: How to Change a Value (Yes, It's Possible)
Values are shaped by experience, influenced by environment, and changed through choice. And if you're intentional, you can actually upgrade them.
Here's how values shift (and how you can make it happen on purpose):
1. Cognitive Dissonance (a.k.a. Your Wake-Up Call)
Psychologist Milton Rokeach found that one of the most effective ways to change a value is by facing a contradiction between your beliefs and your behavior.
In other words, you experience cognitive dissonance—that uncomfortable feeling of:
"I say this is important to me... but I don't act like it."
That discomfort? That's the leverage point.
It's your mind's way of saying: Something needs to shift.
You've got two options:
- Change your behavior to match your value.
- Change your value to match your behavior.
Most people take the second route without realizing it.
They cut corners… make excuses… and slowly chip away at their own integrity.
But real growth happens when you choose the third path, which brings us to…
2. Self-Confrontation (a.k.a. The Mirror Test)
The third option—the one that leads to growth—is this:
- Confront the dissonance—the difference between what you say you care about and what you actually do—
- Then, make the small, intentional changes that bring your actions back into alignment with who you want to be.
3. Post-Traumatic Growth (a.k.a. The Forced Reset)
Sometimes, values don't shift through reflection—they change because life slams you into a new perspective.
Loss, illness, crisis, parenthood—these major life events can reorder what matters overnight. Suddenly, the stuff you used to chase feels hollow, and things you once overlooked come front and center.
You don't need trauma to grow. But if you've been through something hard, you may recall how quickly your values and priorities rearranged themselves.
4. Incentives, Influence, and Environment
Charlie Munger said it best:
"Show me the incentive and I'll show you the behavior."
The rewards and pressures we're surrounded by also shape what we claim to value—whether we realize it or not. But here's the trick: Real values stick when they're chosen freely. Not forced. Not bribed. Not guilted.
So if you want to adopt a new value like health, honesty, or growth?
Start small. Make it yours. Let the action build the identity.
TODAY'S ACTION PROMPT
Ask yourself:
When was the last time your values changed?
What triggered it—and what did you do about it?
WANT TO TAKE THIS LESSON EVEN DEEPER?
Living by your best values isn't just about willpower. As we covered today, it takes a mix of honest self-confrontation, the right incentives, and a strong environment to make real change stick.
Because yeah—sitting with the discomfort of "I say this matters to me, but my actions say otherwise" is rough. But that's also the moment everything can shift. That's the leverage point.
The truth is, most people try to do this work alone—and then wonder why they keep defaulting to their old habits. You need the right setup: structure, support, and accountability. That's why I built The Solved Membership.
The Solved Membership is a paid membership community for continuous growth.
It's where we turn everything you've learned this week—the right values, cognitive dissonance, the mirror test, post-traumatic resets, and all—into actual movement. And it works.
Like our member Kim said:
"If personal growth is something that matters to you, this is such a great way to do it. I've never had such success in an online program before."
It only costs $24.99 per month to join, but you can save $100 if you join for the whole year upfront.
>> Head here to learn more and join The Solved Membership today.<<
Either way, I'm sending you one more BONUS action-prompt (so look out for it).
But, I also want to congratulate you for coming this far.
You've done something that most people never will—started down the path of living a life that's built around what matters to you, not around what others expect, what you think you "should," or that leaves you drained and miserable. Well done.
I'll see you tomorrow.
– Mark
#1 New York Times Bestselling Author
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