Three prompts to reflect on what went well this yearAn exercise to look back on a terrible and beautiful year
Parent of Adults is my invitation to compare notes on life beyond the empty nest. Learn more about this newsletter or subscribe now, free or paid. I HOPE this note finds you well as a terrible and beautiful year comes to a close. As I think back over 2025, it helps to remember that every year is terrible and beautiful in its own way. I can recall days that sparkled with joy and a few real crappers. Some years contain more joyful days; others, more crap — but every year is a mix of both.
Have you heard of the negativity bias? It’s our brain’s hard-wired tendency to hold onto negative thoughts and experiences more tightly than positive or neutral ones. Turns out evolution favored those who most successfully scanned their environment for dangers. And now here we are! 🤷🏽♀️ Vigilance is great for survival but can complicate modern life. Think about how a hint of criticism (threat! 🧠🚨) sticks in your mind while ten compliments fade into oblivion. This is the negativity bias in action. Beauty and goodness are just as real as everything else, but it takes more neurological work to notice and hold onto them. So what’s a joy-seeker to do with a brain that automatically grabs onto problems? Counterbalance the negativity bias by making regular efforts to savor the goodness and beauty in your life, and to recognize what’s going well. Making a habit of noticing and savoring what’s good helps us see the world more accurately and gives us a fuller, more balanced picture of our lives. This is not to say we should “bright-side” terrible things or pretend problems don’t exist. But it’s all too easy for our brains to downplay good things, discount them as unimportant or ignore them altogether.
Here are a few questions to help you revisit what went well in 2025. Answer with whatever comes to mind; this is meant to be quick. Feel free to scroll through your photos if they help jog your memory. What were three moments of awe or joy?
Me: Watching Mirabai graduate from college, sitting next to Sam watching Old Faithful erupt, seeing a toucan in Costa Rica with Rael. What were three accomplishments and/or quiet comforts?
Me: Learning to sketch (actually, the accomplishment was being willing to give it a shot), reconciling my desire to write with my shrinking tolerance for being online, starting strength training in earnest. What were three lessons you learned?
Me: Making decisions based on risk-avoidance has a cumulative cost (another way the negativity bias shows up), always keep my to-read pile full (I’m happiest with a book in progress), “bossy daughter syndrome” helps no one (chill out when helping Mom). I hope this exercise offers you a new window on the past year. Answering these questions for myself reminded me that 2025 was more than an avalanche of bad news. It was also beautiful — my brain just needed a nudge to notice. ❖ Comments are open to all. Past issues move behind the paywall after a few months. Paid subscribers get unlimited access to the archive — my way of thanking you for your support. 🗄️ RELATED READING
🔗 NOTES OF NOTE
Here is the world. Beautiful & terrible things will happen. Do not be afraid. How lovely is that? Finally: Thank you for reading, sharing and supporting this newsletter. Thank you for inviting me into your inbox and keeping me company this year. You were one of my bright spots. ✨
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Tuesday, December 30, 2025
Three prompts to reflect on what went well this year
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