The Thanksgiving meal is a thoughtless combination of everything, like a death row last meal for America. You got some marshmallows? Melt them on the sweet potatoes. A cranberry relish meant to be delicately dolloped on meat? Scoop me a pile so I can eat it by itself. Some aunt once brought a Jell-O mold in the 1960s? Her descendants must continue to do so forever, or else the communists win. No wine can go with this mishmash (which is an egg dish I’m sure some people put on the Thanksgiving table). I know that matching a wine to Thanksgiving dinner is hopeless because every expert recommends you serve a sparkling wine. That’s what sommeliers say when they don’t have an answer. Sparkling wine is to sommeliers what Band-Aids are to children. While, you can drink anything with Thanksgiving dinner, sparkling and a lighter red such as pinot noir are safest. A big California cabernet sauvignon will work, grabbing your attention for a few seconds before the stuffing does the same and then a forkful of candied yams crams your dopamine receptors. All that violent clashing will just make the meal more American. But there’s one thing you shouldn’t do. Which is spend more than $20 on a bottle. I know, it’s a special occasion. These are people you love and maybe see once a year. But these are people good wine is wasted on. They are not your wine friends. This is your family. It’s amazing that after all these years of disappointment, you have not yet learned that your family doesn’t appreciate anything you’re into. Even if a lot of them are into wine, Thanksgiving is not a meal of contemplation. You aren’t going to sit there sniffing and appreciating subtle notes. This is an American holiday. It’s speed and excess and talking with your mouth open. Are you shaving truffles on the turkey? Are you wearing your Givenchy dress? Are you inviting heads of various organizations to talk about their current projects? If so, please invite me so I don’t have to spend the night with my family talking about the election. Even in these times when I want to stop thinking about America, I serve American wines on Thanksgiving. It’s an American holiday. I’m not serving cassoulet; I’m serving turkey. I’m going with a Twomey pinot noir from Napa. Yes, it’s a lot more than $20, but not for me because I’m corrupt and winery owner David Duncan gave it to me for free. I’ll also serve a sparkling wine from the Finger Lakes in New York: Barry Family Cellars’ Pet Gnat. That’s partly because it’s delicious and interesting, because mostly because the winery is owned by my lovely wife Cassandra’s brother Ian, and the label was drawn by their dad. Which is a long way of saying that I didn’t pay for it. If my guests want something expensive, they can come back on Bastille Day. 1 Sparkling wine, thanks to bubbles and high acidity, is like a magic eraser for food. Pinot noir tends to be chill and doesn’t overpower food: Lots of acid to go with the fatty stuff, not too much tannin to overpower the bland stuff, lower alcohol so you don’t get too drunk over a long meal¹ You're currently a free subscriber to The Corrupt Wine Writer. For the full experience, upgrade your subscription.
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Sunday, November 23, 2025
What to Serve on Thanksgiving
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