Hey, OTB community! Every few months, I run a "mailbag edition" — where I answer questions from readers. You can read previous ones here and here.
Today, I'm answering three questions...
- How do I stand out from the noise?
- What if nobody wants me?
- Whose advice is worth trusting?
If you ever have questions, just hit reply or email me at hellojasonfeifer@gmail.com.
This edition is brought to you by OuterSignal, which revolutionizes your marketing — by telling you incredible details about every customer. Info below.
1. How do I stand out from the noise?
Paul asks:
"I want to write a newsletter. But people are already inundated with newsletters, and I don't want to add more clutter to their inboxes. What should I do?"
Paul, I get it. Nobody wants to be noise.
But also: If you worry about being noise, you'll never have a chance to be heard.
That's true in every part of life. Do you not pitch your product, because customers get too many pitches? Do you not apply for a job, because the company got too many applicants? Do you not talk to the pretty woman at the party, because other people did too?
Truth be told, your concern sounds like a defense mechanism. When you stay silent, nobody can accuse you of being noisy.
So here's a reframe: Instead of worrying about your own noise, start thinking of everything else as the noise you can cut through.
If you have something great, then you're doing people a favor by offering it to them. They can make their own decisions about what's too much — and if they want to unsubscribe to newsletters, then your job is to become the one newsletter they keep.
People may be busy. But they'll always make room for quality. Never hesitate to become someone's best option.
2. What if nobody wants to work with me?
Nichole asks:
"I was a graphic designer, and was pretty successful before taking a break to raise my four awesome kids. Now it's time for me to contribute to the family income again — but I am slightly old (43) for the 'cool' factor that many companies or agencies are looking for in a designer. Should I pivot to something else?"
Nichole, step back to notice something: You framed your question in the negative.
You're seeking out closed doors, identifying who won't take you seriously, or who won't be excited about working with you. We do this to ourselves so often. Like Paul's question above, I see it as a defense mechanism: We want to protect ourselves, so we focus on primarily on what to avoid.
But what would it mean to flip that, and instead think about who would be excited to work with you? Who needs access to your distinct skillset and experience?
I'm reminded of a story I love from Kara Goldin, the founder of Hint Water. In her company's early days, she wanted to increase her product's shelf life without adding preservatives — but no bottler could do it.
Her husband and business partner told her: "There's no way to get the taste you want and still have enough shelf life to distribute this product around the country."
"Well, what can we do?" Kara replied.
Her husband said they have one option: They can have a product with a short shelf life, and deliver it locally out of their Jeep.
"Perfect, that's what we'll do," Kara said. "We'll find out what people think of the product and if it's worth trying to solve this problem."
As the company grew, Kara kept asking that question. Someone would say what she can't do, and she would reply, "What can we do?"
I encourage you to do something similar, Nichole. Before ruling out what you can't do, take seriously what you can do. I bet it's more than you think.
Ready to find that next thing? Here are two newsletters I wrote on it:
P.S. I'm 45. You're not old or uncool at 43, I promise!
3. Whose advice is worth trusting?
Macey asks:
"I hear a lot of contradictory advice online. One influencer will lay out a strategy to be healthy or build a business, and another will say something wildly different. In your opinion, when is the right time to adopt or abandon someone else's process?"
Before I answer that question, here's a relevant story:
I was once talking to a successful novelist who does a lot of book tours. He said that aspiring writers often attend his talks, and then ask him hyper-specific tactical questions. Like: What time do you start writing every day? How many words do you write per day? What kind of notebook do you use? What pen? And so on.
"They seem to think these things are part of my success," the novelist told me. "As if copying them is the key to their success."
I think of this as the illusion of simplicity.
People crave clarity and control in the face of uncertainty. Big goals, like writing a novel, are abstract and intimidating. But small behaviors ("What pen do you use?") feel actionable and concrete. So that's what people gravitate toward. If the novelist says, "I use a Moleskine and write 1,000 words a day," then success feels graspable — as if that's all you need to succeed.
I think this explains so many things: It's why people buy books about habits, and listen to modern gurus' podcasts, and read articles about what billionaires eat for breakfast. We are looking for the easy answers to hard problems.
But of course, there is no single pathway to success. Two people can follow completely opposite processes, and still achieve the same goals.
Macey had asked me: "When is the right time to adopt or abandon someone else's process?"
My answer is: Adopt someone's process when it helps you understand yourself better. Abandon it the moment it stops serving you. Other people's systems are starting points, not destinations.
Because you're not building their life; you're building yours.
That's how to do one thing better.
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Want to try OuterSignal on your business, large or small? The team is offering some free credits for friends of One Thing Better. Just reply to this email and I'll make a personal introduction to the founders.
Final notes for today...
P.S. Do you have an event coming up? I've keynoted for major brands like Clorox, Pfizer, Google, and Crocs — as well as smaller brands and startups, both in-person and virtually. I help teams thrive in times of change, and would love to help yours. See me in action and get in touch.
P.P.S. Send this newsletter to someone who needs it! Forward to them, or just send this link to today's edition.
That's all for this week! See you next Tuesday.
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