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Just think about how tough he had to be to get through all that. The flood. The famine. The plague. The coup attempt. The wars. His failing health. Burying not one but nine children. Just think about what that must have been like for Marcus Aurelius, how hard it would have been to keep going. How could he have gotten out of bed in the morning? It's almost unimaginable, as we said recently. And you know what we don't think to imagine? How that must have been for Faustina, his wife. She bore those children. Her husband was gone for years at a time. She had to nurse him through his chronic health crises. She had to worry what would become of herself and her family when his failing health led to the general Avidius Cassios to stage a takeover (his attempt failed). She had to do this as people spread baseless rumors about her infidelity and loyalty. Seneca was forced to commit suicide by Nero. What terror awaited Paulina, his wife, spared as she was by Nero's order, her life in his hands on a daily basis? We talk about Rutilius and Musonius accepting their exile with a shrug. There is no mention of what became of their wives—did they have to go too? Were they left behind? We don't talk about the slights and the condescension they would have put up with as the 'weaker sex.' We don't talk about having to find creative outlets for their mind and interests in a society where so much was closed off to them. We don't talk about accepting the powerlessness and injustice and reality of this life (although certainly Epictetus could have related). We don't talk abut the fear of being raped…or impregnanted (which at best meant incredible pain and very realistically meant death). So it's worth asking, who was actually more heroic? Who was actually the tough one in these relationships? Who was the true Stoic?  P.S. In this recent video, Ryan Holiday explores valuable Stoic lessons from women like Faustina and Paulina—lessons that resonate with everyone, regardless of gender. He also shares inspiring stories of Stoic women throughout history and highlights examples of modern Stoic women. Head here to watch and make sure to subscribe to The Daily Stoic YouTube channel today. *** | 
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