When you don't know what else to do, help the helpersYour sphere of influence is bigger than you think 🌎
In 2012, I traveled to Ethiopia as a member of a team of parenting writers invited by ONE, the non-partisan global anti-poverty advocacy group. Our objective was to learn and write about how US aid impacted families and children, and then share these stories with our mostly-American and UK audiences. In the 13 years since, my kids have grown up and so have I. To say a lot has changed is to state the ridiculously obvious. What hasn’t changed and what I know to be true today: You don’t have to lose yourself in the world’s challenges (or even fully understand them) to participate in addressing them. You can live your life, safeguard your joy, and have a positive impact at the same time. The key is to help the helpers. In 2012, my kids were 11 and 8.I was a busy writer who knew next to nothing about US foreign assistance. I knew our government sent money and goods overseas to combat poverty and disease, but that’s where my understanding petered out, lost in the radio static of my middle-class American life. I had very little bandwidth for politics and global issues back then. The work of the US government hummed along in the background of my awareness. Fortunately, ONE invited me onto the team as a writer, not an expert. Starting with zero experience actually helped me approach the work with a total beginner’s blank slate. ONE taught us about international aid by introducing us to people it touched.Not just aid recipients, but local partners responsible for turning US dollars into effective programs. Our guide loaded us into a van and took us to visit schoolrooms, roadside health clinics and remote farming villages, some of which were at the end of bumpy dirt roads. We observed the remarkable impact of relatively small amounts of funding. We spoke to doctors who provided lifesaving pre- and postnatal care and nurses who administered vaccines to people who’d walked miles to get them. We met students, parents, teachers, administrators, beekeepers, surgeons and young entrepreneurs. We visited an organization that employed women as artisans so they could support their families without having to go into sex work, the only other income-earning work available to them.
Along the way, I learned how aid begins with politics.I learned that in 2003, George W. Bush signed a health initiative into law that prevented millions of Africans from dying of AIDS. I had no idea. My takeawayEvery person, no matter where they live, wants a shot at the same basic things: health, a decent job, and a future for their kids. Historically, US aid makes up approximately 1% of the federal budget. One percent. The US is the wealthiest country in the world. It contributes more aid than every other country, but considerably less than others as a portion of national income.¹ US international aid should be a source of national pride. It isn’t waste, nor is it charity. It’s justice.
I care, but I’m also overwhelmed. What am I supposed to do?Let’s pause here to take a breath and acknowledge a difficult truth: None of us, no matter how much we know or care, can act on every issue (or even take it in). But there’s more to that feeling of overwhelm than just the calculated onslaught of news. Empathy can morph into paralyzing guilt over one’s relative good fortune. The care more/do less paradox is as understandable as it is hard to admit. I’ve certainly felt it. But there’s no shame in living and enjoying our lives. On the contrary, when we live fully, we free up energy and resources to share. If you’re immobilized by despair, pivot toward helping the helpers.Helpers like the ONE Campaign already have the knowhow, relationships, and infrastructure in place to make real progress. Even if you’ve only got a few minutes per week to spare, adding your voice to their efforts gives you an outsized impact. Here’s a suggestion:
💬 I’d love to know…What do you think about 👆🏽 this plan? How would you improve it? Know any aid organizations that deserve a spotlight? Drop a link in the comments. But first: If you haven’t already, read this to familiarize yourself with my approach to political talk here at Parent of Adults.
🔗 Notes of Note
⭐️ This Week’s Feat of AdultingI paid my taxes AND set up automatic payments for my 2025 estimated taxes! Anything connected to the IRS² makes me sweat. I’d rather hide under a blanket. But pushing through the discomfort to take an extra 15 minutes to automate everything is a massive gift to my future self. 🍭 This Week’s DelightSPRING HAS SPRUNG, PEOPLE. Is it cheating to claim an entire season as my delight? I say it’s fair game. The emergence of Spring is, like, the original delight!
Thanks for spending time with me today. Join me in the comments to chat about anything you’ve read here, or whatever else is on your mind. Or share a recent feat of adulting or delight. We all deserve more gold stars and vicarious delight! ✨
1 Source: What is US foreign assistance? at the Brookings Institute. 2 Tax nerves aside, I greatly appreciate IRS employees and the thankless work they do. These are the very people rooting out corporate fraud and keeping the government running, and they’re under multiple lines of attack from the Trump/Musk/DOGE regime as millions of tax returns flood in. This article (NYT gift link) tells the story of sudden, inscrutable firings and the loss of institutional knowledge — in other words, massive, destructive inefficiency under the guise of “reform.” Please call your congressperson to express your support for federal employees.
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Monday, March 24, 2025
When you don't know what else to do, help the helpers
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