People probably thought Marcus Aurelius was strange. The time he spent alone in his room. The long walks he took by himself. We know they thought it was strange that he was seen reading and writing in the Colosseum, ignoring the carnage of the games below.
"The world today does not understand, in either man or woman," Anne Morrow Lindbergh writes in Gift from the Sea, "the need to be alone." Perhaps we ourselves don't understand it. We don't quite see the point. Or as much as we enjoy it, we don't see it as much of a priority. As we discussed over at Daily Dad in an email recently, parents will manage to make time for so many things…but quiet time by or for themselves is written off as an impossible indulgence.
"Actually," Lindbergh writes, "these are among the most important times in one's life—when one is alone. Certain springs are tapped only when we are alone. The artist knows he must be alone to create; the writer to work out his thoughts; the musician, to compose; the saint, to pray." There would be no Meditations without this quiet solitude, but more alarming, there would have been no Marcus Aurelius, either.
He had to take the time to retreat into his own soul, as he said, to rejoice in perfect stillness. He needed to step away. He needed to reflect and evaluate, prepare and anticipate. He was an extremely busy man with an endless amount of demands on his person and his schedule. But he insisted on stillness, because he knew it was the key to his health and his happiness—and his leadership depended on it.
The same is true for you.
P.S. Many of you have already taken up a reflective journaling practice on your own or with the guided prompts of The Daily Stoic Journal. It's an important "portable retreat" that has so many benefits. (And, if you haven't yet tried journaling, challenge yourself to trade just a few minutes of scrolling on your phone each night to mindfully jot down some thoughts from the day.)
Now, we're excited to announce the launch of the Daily Dad version—The Daily Dad Five Year Reflection Journal—for all of you parents out there. It makes starting your parenthood journaling practice easy, offering not only a way to reflect on the parent you aspire to be, but a way to create something extraordinary and meaningful for your children.
Each day presents a single, thoughtful question about parenthood and family. You'll write a brief response in the first of five entry slots. Next year on the same date, you'll answer the same question in the second slot. By year five, you'll have a remarkable record of growth, change, and continuity.
The questions won't change, but you will. Your children will. And five years from now, you'll hold in your hands not just a journal, but a map of the journey—proof that during these overwhelming, exhausting, extraordinary years, you were present. You paid attention. You did the work.
Begin today. Keep the practice, and let it keep you.
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