Incremental improvement, a protest sign I can't stop thinking about, and newsletter changes for 2026

͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­

	Forwarded this email? Subscribe here for more Backlog January Incremental improvement, a protest sign I can't stop thinking about, and newsletter changes for 2026 Asha Dornfest Jan 27   READ IN APP   The Union Station clock tower, Portland, Oregon IT TYPICALLY TAKES A MONTH or so for “fresh start” energy to bubble up in me. Dark midwinter days seem ill-suited to shiny new projects. For me, incremental improvement is a better seasonal fit. At this time of year I’m drawn to chipping away at the backlog: important-but-mundane tasks like digitizing our photos and streamlining our file system. By drawn to I don’t mean I relish the work; I have to cajole myself into doing it. But it’s undeniably nourishing (in an eat-your-vegetables¹ sort of way) to make visible progress on the jobs I tend to avoid. “Backlog January” boosts my confidence and clears the mental decks so creative stuff can more readily emerge. That’s the stuff I actually want to do…starting in February. Parent of Adults by Asha Dornfest is a conversation about life beyond the empty nest. You’re invited — subscribe now, free or paid: Upgrade to paid I was reminded of this by my friend and former Edit Your Life co-host, Christine Koh. She reposted a podcast we recorded years ago about winter wellness in which I talked about scheduling my routine medical appointments in winter so I don’t risk spending a rare warm, sunny Portland day in a doctor’s office. Winter Wellness Tips: Movement Edit Your Life | Simplify + Declutter Your Home, Time, and Mental Space 30:50 Guess what? I still do this! My annual wellness visit is in a couple weeks! (If you haven’t already, give Edit Your Life a listen. Christine is a top-notch host and human.) Share DON’T STAY SILENT On my way to meet two friends for coffee the other day, I drove past a small gathering of protesters. A dozen stalwart, mostly-gray-haired people were stationed at each quadrant of a four-way stop, holding signs and waving at passers-by. The energy was neighborly and resolute. As I waited for the light to change, one of the men caught my eye, smiled and waved. I wildly waved back and honked my horn. His sign read DON’T STAY SILENT. I’m still thinking about that man and his sign. He didn’t tell me how to think or who to rail against. He simply reminded me I had a voice and urged me to use it. I can barely wade through the horror of these days, but then I think about Susan and Michael Pretti. They’re processing the murder of their son while a vile political machine pumps out lies about him. But instead of withdrawing into their private grief, Susan and Michael Pretti dragged themselves into the glare and issued this bold public statement: We are heartbroken but also very angry. Alex was a kindhearted soul who cared deeply for his family and friends and also the American veterans whom he cared for as an ICU nurse at the Minneapolis VA hospital. Alex wanted to make a difference in this world. Unfortunately he will not be with us to see his impact. I do not throw around the hero term lightly. However his last thought and act was to protect a woman. The sickening lies told about our son by the administration are reprehensible and disgusting. Alex is clearly not holding a gun when attacked by Trump’s murdering and cowardly ICE thugs. He has his phone in his right hand and his empty left hand is raised above his head while trying to protect the woman ICE just pushed down all while being pepper sprayed. Please get the truth out about our son. He was a good man. Thank you. I share their statement here as a drop in the ocean of loving, principled defiance as demonstrated by the courageous people of Minneapolis and St. Paul, and two devastated parents, Susan and Michael Pretti. Their son, 37 year-old Alex Pretti, was a good man. Share NEWSLETTER CHANGES FOR 2026 Over the years, Parent of Adults has become a much more personal project than I originally had in mind. I’ve made some tweaks to reflect this shift: I’ve lengthened the public comment window so there’s more time to read and participate. Public comments used to be open for a week, but now they’ll stay open until the issue moves behind the supporter paywall a few months after publication. I’ve lowered the annual subscription price to $30. My original plan for this newsletter was professional and publication-oriented, but it has come to resemble a series of personal letters. I’m good with that. When I think about the direction this world is going, I honestly believe we need more informal, personal gathering places like this. We need more pen pals. I’ve made more explicit in the About Page and subscription structure that Parent of Adults is essentially a free newsletter with a paid option if you’d like to support the work and/or ideals that go into it. Paying isn’t the only form of support (see below) but if that’s your preference, the lower annual price makes it easier. (The monthly price of $5 is already at Substack’s minimum).² I’ve clarified my definition of “supporter” to include both paid subscribers and frequent sharers. When it comes to support, sharing is as meaningful as paying, if not more. I want the newsletter’s structure and language to reflect that. Every time you click the “Share” or “Restack” buttons, my referral program counts the free- or paid subscriptions your shares bring in and accordingly upgrades your subscription, i.e., unlocks the archive paywalls. (If I could hook the upgrade to number of shares as opposed to referrals I would, but unfortunately there’s no setting for that.) I’d love to hear your thoughts on any of these changes, or anything else I’ve written here. Or anything else, period. I’m so glad we’re going into this year together. See you in the comments. Leave a comment Comments are open to all. Back issues & comments move behind the supporter paywall after a few months. The paywall unlocks for paid subscribers & frequent sharers as a thank you for helping me keep this newsletter ad-free and freely accessible. 🔗 NOTES OF NOTE In solidarity with the residents of the Twin Cities, I’ve donated to the Immigrant Law Center of Minnesota (⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ 100% on Charity Navigator), a St. Paul-based nonprofit that provides free immigration legal representation to low-income immigrants and refugees in Minnesota and North Dakota. Join me at ilcm.org. Yesterday I Watched Another Assassination in Minneapolis - Liz Gumbinner shares more ways you can help Minnesotans “because bearing witness is not enough anymore.” Six Vibe Shifts for 2026 - Heather Havrilesky declares how she intends to live this year. 🔥 🗄️ IN THE ARCHIVE Related reading in the Home & Relationships archive: What I've learned about death cleaning (so far) Asha Dornfest · November 14, 2023 Read full story I'm finally confronting my fear of the mail July 11, 2023 Read full story Thanks for reading. If you enjoyed this newsletter, help others find it by sharing, restacking, or even just clicking the ♡. ✨🙏🏽 Share 1 The thing is I love vegetables so that phrase doesn’t work, but YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN. 2 If you recently paid more than $30 for an annual subscription I’m happy to issue a refund. Email me at newsletter@ashadornfest.com and we’ll get it sorted.   Like Comment Restack   © 2026 Asha Dornfest 1631 NE Broadway St. #309, Portland, OR 97232 Unsubscribe