Hey there,
You made it to Day 05 of the Emotions Mini-Course.
Whether you did every day's prompt, or missed one here or there, it's important to acknowledge every small win you did show up for. I guarantee that no matter how much you did, you now know more about emotions than 99% of people.
In the last week, we've covered:
- What emotions are and how they work in your brain
- The cult of emotion and how culture effects your emotions
- What emotional regulation really is and the different styles you can try
- The four schools of emotional regulation and how they work together
You've also tested and tried a series of prompts and exercises to discover more about yourself and what works for you when it comes to regulating your emotions.
YOUR FINAL LESSON: 80/20 of Emotions
The biggest takeaway I hope you get from these last five days is that emotions aren't bad. They aren't a problem to be fixed. They are a normal part of the human experience and they can be managed and regulated to improve your relationships with yourself and with others.
But let's cut to the chase. What can you do right now to become more emotionally regulated?
Master your physiology.
Your body isn't just where emotions are felt—it's where they're generated. Get your physiology right, and you've already won a quarter of the battle. Make sure you are getting plenty of sleep, exercising regularly, drinking enough water, and getting the right nutrition for your body. Because you can't think your way out of a physiological problem.
Change the story.
You don't have to change your emotions or the situation you're in, just the story behind them. That's what cognitive reappraisal is all about. You can learn and use this skill in any situation, and you'll be amazed at how much it can shift your emotional responses.
Practice mindfulness.
No, this doesn't mean meditating or taking a yoga class. It just means become aware of your emotions before you start trying to change them. Notice what's happening, name it, and normalize it—that's the first step to regulating your emotions in any situation.
The goal is to build emotional flexibility.
Just like physical flexibility, emotional flexibility takes practice. You're not meant to use the same response in every situation. But the more tools you have—and the more intentional you are about using them—the more resilient you become.
So how can you create the right toolkit for you?
Well, think about who and what you're surrounded by, and how that may need to change to support you in developing a habit of action.
To be honest, I created The Solved Membership to be the kind of supportive environment that encourages this exact kind of growth.
As a member, you'll be surrounded by like-minded individuals who also want to develop a strong habit of action. You'll get helpful prompts just like I've been sending all week, including a thorough ToolKit with exercises to try for each different school of emotional regulation and a space to share your breakthroughs and track your progress with one another.
"I love that there are people from a wide range of backgrounds in the program so I get a wider range of insight than I would from just Mark alone. Just reading through the posts of others, I gain even more insight than I would through doing the lessons on my own." – Kim
Inside The Solved Membership, you'll be able to go even deeper into emotions, including:
- How to identify and understand your full range of emotions, even if you were never taught to do so growing up.
- How to communicate and express your emotions in a healthy, culturally appropriate way in any circumstance.
- How to regulate and manage your emotions so you can respond to anything that comes your way with a level head.
Basically, you'll learn how to feel and manage your emotions so they help you instead of just fucking up your day.
It's not for everyone and it won't solve all your problems overnight. Change takes time, and The Solved Membership is no silver bullet. But it can be the consistent push in the right direction that nudges you closer to the life you really want to be living, one small win at a time.
YOUR FINAL ACTION PROMPT
What's one action you can take today that will set you up for more emotional regulation and less emotional overload?
As you think about that one action, may I suggest another? You've learned so much in five days, imagine how much you could learn in 30?
Or in a whole year?
Inside The Solved Membership, we've got more days of prompts and tools waiting for you, and you'll even save $100 if you decide to join for the whole year.
You can continue to build your emotional regulation toolbox, or you can go on to learn how to find the right tools to beat procrastination or clarify your values that we explored over the last two months in The Solved Membership.
If you're interested in joining us, you can learn more and join us here.
Either way, great job this week. I'm glad you're here.
Mark
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